What I Have Learned from Depression｜憂鬱症教會我的事
In today’s world, depression is no longer a rare problem. According to the World Mental Health Report by WHO this year, one out of every eight people suffers from a different degree of mental health issue, especially under the influence of the pandemic. As a person who has been down the road of depression for 3 years, I deeply understand how destructive and terrible its influence could be. But I am not here to tell you how pathetic it is to have depression or to ask for sympathy, but to tell people that depression is not weakness; it can also make you stronger.
在當今世界，憂鬱症已不再是一個罕見的問題。根據今年世界衛生組織的世界精神健康報告，每八人中就有一人正在不同程度的精神健康問題中受苦，這樣的情形在疫情影響下更為嚴重。與憂鬱症為伍已經有三年的我，深深明白它可以帶給人的毀滅性以及負面影響有多深。但我並非告訴你它有多可悲或是乞求同情，而是要告訴人們憂鬱症並非缺陷，反之，它讓人變得更加強大。
I have been through a long journey from fighting against depression to getting along with it. Depression used to be something that I didn’t dare to talk about and felt ashamed of. Now that I have accepted it as a part of me, I understand that my vulnerability is not a punishment, but a gift that allows me to become more sensitive to others emotions, and be more understanding than ordinary people. The past doesn't define who we are, but we are the one who decides what meaning to give to these experiences. If we too don’t try to appreciate and love ourselves, who else would?
從對抗憂鬱症到與它共處，我經歷了一條漫長的路。憂鬱症曾幾何時是我不敢甚至羞於談論的事情。如今，在接受它成為我的一部分之後，我明白脆弱並非懲罰，而是一種讓自己更加敏銳察覺他人情緒的天賦，也能比他人更有同理心。過去無法定義我們，但我們有權定義這些經驗。如果我們不嘗試去感謝及愛自己，誰還會做這件事呢？
Acceptance and forgiveness are the two most important lessons I have learned during my therapy process. We have always been taught to be lenient to others, but we are not used to giving ourselves the same leniency. Therefore, when we encounter problems, it is easy for us to blame ourselves for the causes of every issue, thinking that we are not good enough or we did something wrong. Our emotions could be carried away easily by these negative thoughts without even noticing. But in fact, depression, like any other problems, is just a situation that is neither good nor bad. Sometimes, things just happen without a reason. Whether we made a mistake or not, we have to learn to forgive ourselves and to let things be.
接受和原諒，是我在諮商過程中學到最重要的兩個概念。我們總是被教導要對寬恕他人，卻無法給予自己相同的寬容。因此，每當遇到問題時，我們總是輕易地先責怪自己，認為自己不夠好或是做錯了什麼。我們的情緒也會輕易地在不自覺中受到這些負面想法影響。但事實上，憂鬱症就像其他問題一樣，沒有對與錯。有時候事情發生就是發生了，不會有原因。無論我們是否犯了錯，我們必須學會原諒自己，並學著放手。
But accepting the problem is different from giving up and putting no effort into trying to tackle it. What we should accept is the past, because what is in the past has already been done and there is nothing we can do to change it. How we choose to deal with the problem afterwards is what really makes the difference. Rather than spending time regretting and self-blaming, it is better to focus on what we are able to do and changes we can make to, if not improve the situation, at least let it stop worsening. It is okay if we can’t fix the problem at once, small steps can make important progress too and never overlook our own efforts.
但是接受問題與放棄、消極解決大不相同。我們應該做的是接受過去，因為過去發生的是已然過去，且我們也無法改變它。我們選擇處理問題的方式決定了同時也要認知到如何處理問題才是可以改變現狀的關鍵。比起花時間自怨自艾，我們更應專注在我們能為此做些什麼、能改變什麼，就算無法改變現狀，至少能也防止讓情況惡化。即使無法一次解決問題也無妨，小小一步也能是大大的進步，絕對不要小看我們的每一份努力。
It is also important to know whether the problem is something that we should deal with or not; it depends on whether the problem is in our control or in other people’s control. It’s hard to not care about what people say about us. Sometimes, other people’s comments or what they expect from us can really make us upset. We can control our own actions and the way we think, but we cannot control what other people think of us or the expectation they have on us. So if it’s not our problem, don’t try to put that burden on yourself. Everyone has their own issues that they themselves are responsible to deal with.
同樣重要的，是意識到問題是否在我們能力範圍之內，它取決於問題是否為我們可以掌控的、抑或掌控權落在別人手上。我們很難不在意人們對我們的評論。有時，他人對於我們的言論或加諸於我們的期望令人沮喪。我們能控制我們自己的行為以及看待事情的方式，但我們無法控制他人對我們的看法及期待。因此，若這不是我們的問題，便不要施加壓力在自己身上。每一個人都有各自需要負責的問題。
In the past few years, depression has made many drastic changes to my life. It has given me the opportunity to learn something new about myself. I am grateful for every past experience that I have, no matter how good or bad they were, because those are what made me who I am today. I don't compare myself with others anymore, because I know that everyone is living in a timeline of their own, moving forward little by little at their own pace into a better future. Life is too short to spend so much time being unhappy, I hope that everyone can find their daily lives meaningful.
過去幾年，憂鬱症劇烈地影響我的生活。我也好好地利用這個機會學著去認識不同的自己。對於過去種種，我心懷感激。因為無論好壞，那些經驗都造就了現在的我。我不再將自己與他人做比較，因為我知道每個人都有屬於他自己的時間軸，以各自的步伐一步一腳印地前進，邁向更好的未來。生命短暫到沒時間不快樂，我希望每個人都能活出有意義的每一天。