Human Connection｜與人建立連結
Do you remember the last time a person genuinely looked into your eyes, telling you the story that they wanted to share with you? Do you remember the feeling of holding someone’s hand? When was the last time you tell your parents that you love them or when was the last time you hug them and kiss them? What is your best memories with your friends? Do you still keep in touch with them? Every form of relationships requires love and effort, passion and commitment, time and patience. Sometimes it is hard to share a deep bond with others because we have to let down our guard and show our vulnerability as well as true self. Secrets have to be let out, deep thoughts have to be communicated, and tears have to be poured out. Sometimes the people who live with us can know the least about us. Sometimes it’s easy to open up with a stranger rather than someone who is close with us. Humans are social creatures, but sometimes we rather isolate ourselves to the outside world. There are too many ironic things that are happening within us and around us, which is what makes us human.
你是否記得上一次，某人真摯凝望著你的雙眼，向你傾訴那些他們想和你分享的事？你是否記得雙手被誰緊握著的感覺？上一次你將愛語傳遞給父母抑或擁抱、親吻他們又是何時？那關於朋友之間的最美好的回憶呢？你們是否還保持聯繫呢？任何關係都需要愛與付出、熱情與投入、時間和耐心。有時我們難以與他人深交，因為我們需要放下防備、展現脆弱的一面，以及真實的自我。秘密需要揭露、心思需要說出口、眼淚需要宣洩。有時與我們同住的人們並非了解我們最深，又時候向陌生人訴説心事遠易於向親密的人傾訴。人類是群居動物，但有時我們更傾向在世界之外孤立起自己。太多矛盾和諷刺的事情在自己與周遭身上發生，然而這卻造就我們生而為人。
Growing up, I cherished my alone time a lot to the point that I sometimes accidentally distanced myself from other people. Canceling some invites from friends or family, seldom reaching out to people when I need help, or keeping all my thoughts in my head are just some of the examples. Not until I went to the university and lived in the dorm room did I realize the importance of human connection. I used to think socializing drained my energy, but I found out with the right people and mindset, spending time with others can bring sparks into our lives and bring us numerous unexpected surprises. I’d say that my first year in college is a transformative time in my life, and I’m grateful to live with my roommates. Because of them, I get to feel the love and care, warmth and support outside of my family.
長大後，我十分珍視獨處時光，以至於有時會發覺自己無意間與他人拉遠了距離。推辭朋友家人的邀約、有困難時很少向外求助、不加以傾訴想法僅是些許例子。直到來到了大學、開始宿舍生活，我才真正體會到與人連結的重要性。過去我總是認為社交十分消耗能量，但我發現只要與對的人及心態，花時間與他人相處能夠為我們生活帶來火花和意想不到的驚喜。我能說大學第一年是我人生的轉捩點，我非常感激能與我的室友們同住。因為他們，我真切感受到能從家人以外的人們身上，獲得愛與關懷、溫暖與支持。
Another thing that makes me realize the significance of human connection is the severity of the pandemic. Since 2020, life has become so different than before. The pandemic strikes us really hard. Social distancing, quarantine, wearing masks all day long, and online classes make me nearly forget what a normal human interaction actually looks like and cause me to miss the time when I can see the facial expression, especially the smiles on people’s faces. Moreover, being forced to stay at home makes me realize how little quality time I’ve spent with my family in the past. I felt sad and bewildered about the fact that I used to sacrifice family time for studying. Looking back, I wish I’d always put family in the first place. The more I think about parent-child relationship, the more I become perplexed and anxious because everything that seems right seems to be wrong for some reasons. Living in an Asian culture, we tend to express love through actions instead of words, such as “I love you.” However, those actions sometimes seem to be more like a responsibility rather than love. Sometimes, a sentence has so many underlying meanings and thoughts that we wouldn’t dare to open up with each other. It shouldn’t be that hard to maintain a good relationship with family, but in fact it is so hard. It takes time and effort to uncover every emotion, and maybe it all starts with being compassionate with each other.
另一件使我意識到與人連結重要性的，是疫情的嚴峻。從2020以來，生活遭遇前所未見的改變。疫情劇烈地影響我們。社交距離、居家隔離、終日戴上口罩以及線上課程等，使我幾乎忘記普通人際交往的模樣，也讓我懷念起能看見人們臉部表情的時候，尤其是人們臉上的微笑。更甚者，被迫在家使我驚覺過曲與家人共處的時光是多麼地少。我為過去犧牲家庭時間拿來讀書的日子感到難過與不解。回首過往，我真希望可以一直將家人擺在第一順位。當我愈深入思索親子關係，我愈感到迷惘焦慮，因為看起來正確的一切，似乎都在某些因素上都是錯的。生活在亞洲文化下，我們在表達愛意時總傾向行動代替言語，諸如訴說「我愛你」。然而，那些付出的行動往往會被視為責任義務而非愛。有時一句簡單的話語蘊含著許多我們不敢向他人開展的意義及想法。維繫家庭關係其實不應如此困難，將情緒逐一拆解需要大量的時間和精力，或許，以同理心對待彼此會是一切的起點。
There are still so many things that I need to learn in life. Living in a world where many things are connected, it is hard to avoid human connection. Although I experience human interaction every day, I still think it is a hard thing for me because different situations occur every day, but I’d say that one thing is certain, which is treating people with love, kindness, and compassion never goes wrong. Maintaining or creating a relationship is like doing yoga, which emphasizing on the equilibrium of everything. It also feels like a mindful breathing exercise. We have to let everything come and go naturally, but we also have to be mindful of everything that comes in our way. I sometimes long for certain kinds of relationships to go in a certain way, but life doesn’t work that way. Every experience is a chance to learn, and every obstacle is an opportunity to grow. Human connection is a magical thing that contains too many surprises, and thinking in this way makes me love the people around me more and be more willing to meet new people and enjoy the limited time on earth with the people I met.
關於人生，還有許多我需要學習的。生在處處皆是緊密連結的世界中，要逃避人際交往著實困難。雖然我每天都在經驗人際互動，但對我而言還是十分困難的一件事，畢竟每天都會有不一樣的狀況發生。但我確信一件事，那就是待人以愛、善和熱誠，是恆常不變的真理。維繫關係以及創造關係如同瑜珈，講求的是一切事物的「平衡」。同時也像是有意識的呼吸訓練。讓一切事物自然的來去，同時也在事情發生之時留心留意。我時常渴望某些關係可以如我預期那般發展，但人生不是一本固定的劇本，每個經驗都是學習的機會、每個挑戰都是成長的過程。人與人的連結是一件十分奇妙的事情，當中蘊含了許多驚喜。揣懷著這樣的想法，我更加願意認識新朋友，並在有限的歲月裡，盡情享受與他們相處的時光。