地方志與田野踏查實務課程駐地學習心得（二）｜The Writing of Local History with the Practice of Field Survey: My Learning Experience II

　　向來，我自認是一個不太會臨機應變的人，甚至是很喜歡在正式活動前，跟組員密集開會，撰寫活動當日細流，A計畫、B計畫，反覆進行沙盤推演，身邊朋友給我的形容詞是：控制、精確、縝密、計畫狂。

　　I am usually bad at coping with any contingency and prefer to hold intensive meetings with my team members before an activity. During these meetings, we discuss every detail in the rundown and prepare Plans A and B, and conduct scenario planning several times. My friends often use words like control, precision, thoroughness, and “planmania” to describe me.

　　因此，這次的駐地學習，我覺得所面對的敵人，並不是蒐集資料、確立題目、尋找訪問對象等等，而是我自己的不安全感。

　　Therefore, for this interview, the real challenge isn’t is my feelings of insecurity instead of gathering information, choosing topics, or finding interviewees.

　　打從最初組長旻傑在群組內開會，問我們有沒有想做什麼題目，組員之間提出一些問題與想法，卻似乎沒有辦法聚焦。對於日本移民這個主題，我反過來認為是我對於這方面知識掌握不夠，想問那還可以準備甚麼，卻得到「不用準備，安心去爬山」的答覆，我雖說好，卻滿肚子懷疑。

　　At the beginning of our group meeting, the team leader Min-Jie asked us what we would like to investigate. Although some of us suggested some ideas, we could not reach an agreed topic. Among the proposals, the topic about Japanese immigrants seems to me an unfamiliar topic that I had insufficient knowledge of. I wondered what I could prepare for it, but all I got was the answer, “You don’t have to prepare anything; just enjoy the hiking.” Even though I said yes, I was full of doubts.

　　第一夜，當我們臨時接到通知，要與原民小組一起訪問東昌村村長，要問什麼，沒有訪綱，腦袋一片空白，只能逼自己全神貫注聽著對方內容，試著挖掘問題。以往，在我的想像，一場訪談裡，訪問人負責控制場面、引導談話並掌握訪談主題，訪問人的權利位階似乎比受訪者還要高一點，但是在現場，受訪者與訪問人權力地位是平行的，甚至反過來，受訪者主導性更高。

　　In the first evening, when we received a temporary notice that we would interview the village head of Dong Chang Village with the Indigenous Team, my mind went completely blank. Without an outline or any prepared questions, I could only pay all my attention to what they said and try my best to tap into it. According to my understanding, interviewers should dominate the interview and are responsible for controlling the situation, steering the conversation, and maintaining the major topic. However, in this interview, the interviewers and the interviewees seemed equally powerful, or the interviewees appears more dominant.

　　我所能做的，僅是在散漫的敘事中，試著抓出線頭，然而沿著線頭往後拉出問題，撿拾地面上的貝，過濾，篩選自己要的放進籃子裡。然而團訪之下，每個人關注的問題面向各有不同，拉出的線頭好幾條，正當不知道該往哪裡收束，隨即，村長又給了我們新資訊，要我們去部落的聚會所看看。

　　All I could do was try to figure out some clues and then bring up some questions, as I was picking up seashells from the immense seashore, examining them, choosing what I need, and putting them in a basket. However, in this group interview, each person had different concerns and questions, so various clues were produced. Just when we had no idea how to carry on the conversation, the village head gave us new information and invited us to have a look at the tribal meeting place.

　　又一個新的線索，八年一次成年禮，跟著孩子到海邊觀察互動，可是女賓不可靠近，原民小組成員全是女生，頭目看著我說話，研究所同學佩汶也投以求救目光，旻傑低聲說，我們不是那組的，不用管。這些張力互相拉扯著，我好為難，只能賠笑，告訴他們我們有分組，每組有每組的任務，不太能跨組支援。

　　Hence, another new clue came up. The coming-of-age ceremony was held once every eight years. We followed the boys to the beach and observed how they interacted with each other, but women were not allowed to approach. All the members of the Indigenous Team were teenage girls. The chief looked at me while he talked, and Pei-Wen, a female classmate of mine, also stared at me for help. Min-Jie muttered, “It’s not our team; stay out of it.” I am embarrassed at such a situation; I could only titter and tell them that each team has its own mission and that it is not suitable for me to help them.

　　臨走前，頭目旁邊的另一位大哥說了一句，可惜了，這機會很難得。

　　Before we left, a man next to the chief said, “It is a pity, for the opportunity is rare.”

　　那天夜裡回到民宿，感覺很複雜，有一種悔恨感是：如果事先知道這些風俗知識，如果不受限於時間組別，如果當下我不顧慮同組組員怎麼想，先跳出去說好我願意去，是不是就不會錯失機會？

　　At night when I returned to the guest house, I felt rather regretful. Would I have missed the opportunity if I had learned about these customs in advance, if I had not been limited by time or my group, or if I had not cared about what other group members thought but agreed to join them anyway?

　　那個慣於摸清底細再行動的我，面對田野這場不知謎底的解謎遊戲，不可預測的突發狀況不斷產生，我不知所措。

　　When I, who was used to figuring out the details before taking action, faced this field survey which was like a puzzle game, unpredictable contingencies continued to arise, and I was overwhelmed.

　　第二天一整天的行程過去，我與組員柏勳、許彤回到民宿，在客廳閒聊之際，我問他們，行前在群組裡那樣向他們提問，會不會對他們造成困擾？許彤告訴我，她之所以有時沉默，只是因為那些提問對她而言也是她的問題，她也在想，也不知道怎麼回答，於是就放著。於是，我開始訪問他們，問他們台灣系與社會系的養成，如何觀察華文系的我，以及如何看待此次的田調活動，我試著進入他們的世界，理解自己這兩天經歷的是什麼，業師們為什麼要這樣操作，或者以往他們都是如何面對這些狀況。

　　At the end of the second day, my team members, Bo-Xun, Xu-Tong, and I returned to the guest house. While we were chatting in the living room, I asked them whether it had caused any trouble to them that I had asked those questions on the Line before we came to this place. Xu-Tong told me that she sometimes remained silent because my questions also her questions that begged for answers; at that time she had simply said nothing. Hence, I started interviewing them. I asked them how they would observe me as a student at the Department of Sinophone Literatures, for Bo-Xun was at the Department of Taiwan and Regional Studies and Xu-Tong was at the Department of Sociology. In addition, I inquired about their thoughts on field surveys and tried to access their perspectives and to understand what I had experienced in the past two days. I wanted to understand how practitioners had tackled the issues and how they had dealt with similar situations in the past.

　　其中一位客家組的同學說起先前鳳林駐地的經驗，她說，在鳳林，比較像是在每天蒐集不一樣拼圖，被大量知識灌滿腦袋，最後要想辦法整理出一個頭緒，但這次在吉安，反而是遇到的每個人都在講類似的脈絡，每個老師都會提到七腳川事件、吉安四寶、日本移民、眷村開墾，反而是要想辦法在類似的敘事中，找到他們的描述角度，想辦法挖掘新的問題。

　　One of the students in the Hakka Team shared her previous experience at Fenglin. She said that it was like collecting different jigsaw puzzles every day, for a lot of knowledge was imparted to them, so at the end of the day they had to try very hard to organize and digest what they had learned. However, here everyone we had met talked about a similar context, and every teacher mentioned the Cikasuan Incident, the Four Treasures of Ji-an, Japanese immigrants, and the reclamation of military dependents’ villages; hence, we needed to identify their different perspectives and try to dig up new questions.

　　這個觀察，這令我想到我慣常的學習模式，就是鳳林駐地模式，那是被動接收式，內省式的整理，然而吉安駐地活動，變成是主動的，向外探索觀察。我的焦慮不安在餘，我用錯了接收資訊的方法，關閉了自己的感知，總是害怕自己準備不夠多，害怕問蠢問題，把好奇心阻隔於前。

　　This observation reminded me of my usual learning mode, which is similar to the Fenglin: passive reception and introspective sorting. However, here, our learning had to become active, outward exploration and observation. My anxiety mainly stemmed from gathering information in a wrong way, turning off my sensibility, and being afraid of not being well-prepared or asking silly questions. As a result, I blocked my curiosity out of my mind.

　　忘了後來是誰告訴我，你就想，你不是真的來調查什麼，你就是來玩的。

　　Later, someone asked me to imagine that I wasn’t here to investigate but to simply have fun.

　　你是來玩的，這句話像是一句定心咒，烙印在我心中，那使我開始放開來玩，在確定受訪者後，與組員們大致確立問題的方向，把受訪者當作一個朋友來認識，而是一個調查對象，就算問了蠢問題也好，也是虛心向對方請教，雖然過程中因為中文日文台語三語交雜，而有些聽不懂，但聽著那些日本時代的生活故事，似乎也在心中描摹出了一塊淡淡的圖景，也對這個移民村的生活產生更多想像與好奇。

　　The sentence “You are here for having fun” became a reassuring mantra imprinted deeply in my mind. It made me start to loosen up and enjoy myself. After determining the interviewee and roughly deciding the direction of the questions with the team members, we took the interviewee as a friend rather than just a subject of research. Even if I asked a silly question, it was still a way to learn something. Although the conversations were mingled with Chinese, Japanese, and Taiwanese, and I couldn’t fully understand everything, listening to daily life stories in the time of Japanese colonial rule I could create a vague picture in my mind. These stories also sparked more curiosity and imagination about lives in this immigrant village.

　　記得在第二天的夜晚，組員柏勳提到，他發現他選了一個自己最不擅長的主題，我心有戚戚焉的表示，我也是，當初就是認為這個主題很新鮮，不熟悉，看看能夠玩些什麼，沒想到現在如此後悔。

　　In the second evening when my team member, Bo-Xun, said he found out that he had chosen a theme that he was not good at, I understood what he meant and felt the same. I had thought that the theme was very interesting. Although I wasn’t familiar with the theme, I wanted to dig into it. Surprisingly, I regretted it then.

　　然而現在回頭一看，也是因為這種後悔感，使我意識到自己對於田野環境的不安全，讓我明白，怎麼樣重新打開感知，放棄那些先備知識，不帶任何特定視角，不帶批判的方式，重新進入田野，在不可預測的變動中，找出自己真正感興趣的事物，並加以探索。

　　However, looking back on what I was through, it was this sense of regret that made me realize my own insecurity in the field. It taught me how to reopen my mind, let go of my presumed knowledge, and restart the field survey without any limited perspective or criticism. I need to find out what I am really interested in and explore it deeply amidst unpredictable changes.

照片提供：楊凱丞｜
Photo provided by Kai-Cheng Yang

作者｜Author：華文文學系碩士班楊凱丞｜Kai-Cheng Yang, Master’s Program, Department of Sinophone Literatures

譯者｜Translator：英美語文學系解雯茜｜Lubby Hsieh, Department of English